What has been like a non-stop amazing ride did not come with its hardships. As 2009 seemed like a year full of death and misfortune, I have learned much about myself. I am working on seeing the silver lining. Opening myself up to new opportunities. One thing I have been dealing with at the moment is me being shy. You may read this and laugh. I have always been shy. My way of dealing has always been to write and to be over-the-top extroverted, so I don't give myself the opportunity to be shy. Sometimes I miss it though. It's tough trying to convince yourself to just go and do it. The worst you can get is a no. Actually, the worst you can get is a "HELL NO, I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN TRIED TO ASK. THAT WAS A MISTAKE ON YOUR PART. ARE YOU STUPID? YOU DON'T EVEN BELONG HERE. WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME LEAGUE". Fortunately, never had that happen, well at least yet. But I do anticipate.
This summer has been pretty laid back. Interning now at Temple University at their Infant Lab. The Lab has been really beneficial to me here. Getting the experience that some would kill for. Maybe not kill for, but would love to have on their resume or their graduate school application. I The research that I am doing here though makes me wonder if I want to be an academic anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love learning. However, I don't know if I want to do a lifetime of reading and researching. I still have time though. I am only 19.
That is crazy. Only 19. Time has been flying by. I am about to be a grown-man. Never thought this day would come. I get to be an adult with responsibility, both financially and personally. Yay!! Not. I will have to figure some way of setting myself up for the future. I am currently doing that. Spending my free time just thinking far ahead. I am already at next Spring, trying to plan my Senior thesis and my Graduate exam practicing. I do need to bring myself in. But I have time. I will be in Hungary in less than two months though. It hasn't hit me yet. It will when I start packing. Until then, I am just an American boy.
I think about it everyday though. When will my day come? When will I find that beautiful woman that my dreams have shown me. I think about her everyday. Too bad I don't know what she looks like. I know she won't be perfect. I know she won't have it all. I know she will try her best to love me. Why is this game so complicated? Why is it a game? There is no way to know. There are so many variables involved, you can't control for success. How do you prepare? You don't. And that's where I lose. I like to be prepared. I like to know what to do. I hate being left in the dark.
But this is it for now. I will try not to neglect you Blog. I wanted to create a new one. But I will wait. I love this title so much
