It's Been Awhile

Wow it has been a long time. I wrote this last summer before I started my sophomore year. Now I am in the summer before my junior year. This has been a crazy year. So many interesting things happen. Had girl troubles in college. First time for that. Drinking alcohol in college. Singing in the Acapella group. Joined the Student Commission. Wrote on the Newspaper staff. Was a peer leader. Changed my minors and concentration in my head at least 10 times. Declared a major. Finally got my GPA to a 3.5. This year went exactly how it was supposed to be. Wonderful.

What has been like a non-stop amazing ride did not come with its hardships. As 2009 seemed like a year full of death and misfortune, I have learned much about myself. I am working on seeing the silver lining. Opening myself up to new opportunities. One thing I have been dealing with at the moment is me being shy. You may read this and laugh. I have always been shy. My way of dealing has always been to write and to be over-the-top extroverted, so I don't give myself the opportunity to be shy. Sometimes I miss it though. It's tough trying to convince yourself to just go and do it. The worst you can get is a no. Actually, the worst you can get is a "HELL NO, I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN TRIED TO ASK. THAT WAS A MISTAKE ON YOUR PART. ARE YOU STUPID? YOU DON'T EVEN BELONG HERE. WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME LEAGUE". Fortunately, never had that happen, well at least yet. But I do anticipate.

This summer has been pretty laid back. Interning now at Temple University at their Infant Lab. The Lab has been really beneficial to me here. Getting the experience that some would kill for. Maybe not kill for, but would love to have on their resume or their graduate school application. I The research that I am doing here though makes me wonder if I want to be an academic anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love learning. However, I don't know if I want to do a lifetime of reading and researching. I still have time though. I am only 19.

That is crazy. Only 19. Time has been flying by. I am about to be a grown-man. Never thought this day would come. I get to be an adult with responsibility, both financially and personally. Yay!! Not. I will have to figure some way of setting myself up for the future. I am currently doing that. Spending my free time just thinking far ahead. I am already at next Spring, trying to plan my Senior thesis and my Graduate exam practicing. I do need to bring myself in. But I have time. I will be in Hungary in less than two months though. It hasn't hit me yet. It will when I start packing. Until then, I am just an American boy.

I think about it everyday though. When will my day come? When will I find that beautiful woman that my dreams have shown me. I think about her everyday. Too bad I don't know what she looks like. I know she won't be perfect. I know she won't have it all. I know she will try her best to love me. Why is this game so complicated? Why is it a game? There is no way to know. There are so many variables involved, you can't control for success. How do you prepare? You don't. And that's where I lose. I like to be prepared. I like to know what to do. I hate being left in the dark.

But this is it for now. I will try not to neglect you Blog. I wanted to create a new one. But I will wait. I love this title so much

Sophomore Year > First-Year

What up blog,
I have been slacking a lot. This year is pretty much as I pictured it. I am a matured freshman, where I am around campus like I have been there before. Peer Leading was crazy. I am glad I got to meet so many great people. I would like to keep them as friends. We bonded through our hatred for waking up at 9 am and learning similar things everyday for like eight hours. Then orientation, where we have to wake up at 7:20 am for a five minute meeting. It was all worth it. I think I will become a peer leader for my senior year.

Now for the freshmen (First-Years I guess they need to be called but they are still freshmen), they are cool. There have been some people that say that the class of 2013 is better than 2012 in terms of people. I think it is the "grass is greener" syndrome. My seminar of kids are really cool. I can honestly say I like them all. A couple of shy girls, but I think that once they get their feet implanted in the college life it will work out. I found a couple of other freshmen that aren't in my seminar that are pretty cool also. Every year seems the same though. People that you talked to before act like they don't know you now. You find new people to hang out with and you strengthen existing relationships. It seems as if all parts of life are like this. I have come to terms that I am single and that I will have to lose friends/ won't be everyone's friend.

In terms of extracurricular, I ended up joining the Index. I like writing a lot. I am going to declare an English minor, just so I can become a better writer and reader. I finally got into Intro to Creative Writing. One of the best choices that I have made here. Andy is such a boss. My poetry is going to get much better. My ability to write stories will get better. Still doing everything else I was in last year, except for Gospel Choir. Maybe later on in the year. Not now. I have to do the Chivalry Club. It is getting off the ground, somewhat. I will try to do an official first meeting soon.

Well I am going to nap. Updates will come sporadically.

Love and Peace
Dion Jose

Can't Chill, But My Neck Will

So it's September, and my summer is winding down, which is emphasized by the drastic (and welcomed) change in the weather. Finally, I get my favorite season of the year; The time for new beginnings, new circles, new clothing, new classes, and my new found favorite (FREEDOM). Don't get me wrong, I thank God for my parents, but living without parental restrictions is a wonderful feeling. I apologize to those who have to stay home for school, and laugh at those who choose to stay because they "love New York". I like New York just as anyone else, but when I get the opportunity, I get out.

As I count the days until I leave Brooklyn, I sit back and reminisce on what may have been the longest summer of my life. Its length was comparable to three months of watching reality television. For the first couple of weeks, it's good. Everyone is enjoying themselves. Then, the truth sets in and you feel like the star of your own show. MTV presents True Life: I'm Bored As F@%$. I didn't work, which is my fault. I should have been on top of my priorities and found a job before I came home. While being unemployed, I managed to focus on another point in my life, self-improvement in terms of friendships and relationships. I feel I have matured to the point where playing those little games are uninteresting. I don't have time to guess if you want to hang out, where you are, if you are thinking about me, why you don't pick up my phone calls. I figured out there are a lot of people in life that are there just to be useless. I wouldn't want to say that friends are disposable, because a good set is hard to find. However, acquaintances are like hair, get rid of one and many others will come to replace.

While that phase has been done, I have rediscovered askmen.com. It is the dictionary to my life. It teaches me about fashion, women, finance, travel, electronics, movies.... I can keep going. The main point that the website drove home is CONFIDENCE and SELF-PRESERVATION. In order to be taken seriously, dress and act the part. Through reflection and self-analysis, I realized that I am pretty indecisive about a lot of things. I don't like to be held accountable for things going wrong. I want to work on it. This indecisiveness has been troubling me for the past three months, with the most important life decisions are coming up this year. I want this to be the best year I have had. Nineteen, it is coming soon. Time to grow up. Get myself together. Still thinking about that tattoo. The next time I update should be when I get to school. 7 days, I countdown constantly. 7 days until freedom, 7 days until I bridge the knowledge gap, 7 days until I experience co-ed living, 7 days until wake up wanting to throw my cellphone on the floor for waking me up at 8 am for training at 9 am.

With that, I bid you ado
Dion Jose

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

Good evening,
So it seems like every time I find something new, it results in something old, turns me blue. They did always say that the summer time is wedding season. On a greater note, just wanted to keep the internet updated with the boring life of Dion J. Bullock.

As my economic situation continues to improve, my social life seems to dissolve. My mom and I seem to keep getting blessed, which I do not complain, I appreciate. I know there are others without. I received the revised financial aid package for the 2009-2010 school year, and it looks like I will be coming out with gains. This means I have enough for books and many other necessities. Today, my mom and I went to the eye doctor so we can get new glasses. We both felt it was time to update a lot of things in our lives. Her with the apartment decoration, mine with my wardrobe. I have been slacking on my dressing. It was one of the things I took pride in high school. Now when college comes, I will step it up.

With success comes hardship, I have learned that the hard way. I ended up messing things up with that cardiologist female that I wrote about it half of my entries. I take full responsibility, not the best moment of the week, but it happened. She told me off, and I probably deserved it. The ironic thing is, I was trying to tell her that I was going to take some time off to work on personal issues. I make her sound like a job, but that is how it felt. Making sure she was alright, always seeing if she was happy and if not I would make it that way. I think that was the problem. I won't go anymore into it, I actually think it was for the better.

Then, my mom's facebook gets hacked by some dude, saying the most random stuff. I just don't understand who sends this much time actually trying to set that up. It was some reckless statuses and everything. It just shows, even though someone is out to get us, we can always recover.

As the time winds down on my summer, I sit down and reflect. Even though I pretty much did nothing this whole summer, I came out on top with new clothes and extra money. I am just blessed. I made some new friends, probably lost some in the process. Losing friends is a natural part of life, and until I realize that I will be lost. I have two weeks until I leave New York City and resume my life in Kalamazoo. Just need to make it as eventful as possible.

Well, I will bid you ado.

With Peace, Love, and Melody
Dion Jose

Your Presence Quenches My Thirst, Sorry Sprite

And even in my wettest form, I still feel good about chillin' with this young lady. It's a gift I guess.

This weekend was kind of cool actually. Friday was just even more boredom than usual, especially since it was a Friday. Being the cheapskate that I am, which is reasonable, since I don't have a job, I usually don't get out much. Some call it laziness, I call it educated saving. Anyway, I ended up going to Bay Ridge to practice my billiards. I swear, I am addicted to this 8-Ball game. It is lovely that I can go play for 2 hours and only spend $8. Much better than going to the movies. It just sucks that my legs were killing me after all of the bend and stretching from shooting. After that, just went home and talked to some people on AIM. Typical day.

Saturday, started too early for me to be happy with. My mom wakes me up at 8:30 am to go to IKEA in Hicksville. I am starting to like IKEA more and more, it is just annoying having to go shopping and taking stuff up stairs all of the time. And we still have to go back some time next week to get another dresser. The day was pretty much saved by Sasha's block party. It's crazy how I traveled like an hour just to do the same thing I do on my block. It was way more entertaining though. A lot of young ladies looking good. Si si. It sucked going home with soggy socks after getting carried into a fire hydrant on full blast, but I enjoyed every minute. Highlight of the day was taking the train home with Marissa. Even though it was like five minutes, she just made me feel special.

On the last note, I just want to say that it is too hot outside now. I am going to drink this Kool-Aid now, and relax under my Air Conditioner. Always remember: Education ---> Money ----> Women ----> Family ----> Too Much Stress. (Which can be good sometimes)

Peace be with you (and also with you)
Dion Jose

Best Week of An Awkward African American's Life

I just wanted to update the blog for the non-followers and the random people who might read this every once in awhile when I put it on facebook links. Shout outs to Mark Zuckerberg or however you spell his last name. He started a cultural phenomenon, who would have guessed? It has helped me make a lot of friends and spread a lot of works and feelings. I was just thinking about myspace, where it used to be my life. Changing music every week, changing the background, changing my name to some silly punchline. For example "Your Girl Wipes Me Down Like A Mexican Bus Boy". I know I was stupid then. To the real reason I am writing this:

I am a faithful person, even though I don't spread it or go to church anymore. I feel that a person can still believe in God and pray without going to church. I have had a problem with church for awhile, as it has become a routine and not a spiritual service. Just a lot of singing and talking. I can do that myself. I have been praying recently, and all of my problems have been fixed. It is amazing. As most of you know, or don't know, I have been complaining about the lack of Psychology classes and how I was going to declare something else because the school does not want me to succeed. After a lot of (im)patience, I decided to check Portal, the new registration website that will ruin the school. It has been having a lot of bugs, which is expected for the first year of use, but it still sucks. I miss ARO :'( So yeah, I had to wait two weeks to register for the last spot in Intro to Sociology, but I finally go it! I had to leave Law and Economics, which kind of sucked, but still. So last night, I get a text telling me I should register for Cognition, since there is one spot open. I got it too!!!!!! After three months of complaining about how I wanted that class and with the teacher not responding to me, I finally got in!!!! I just have to thank Tanj now. It comes with bittersweet news, since she wants to leave. I mean it sucks that she has to leave, but the reasoning is understandable. I am just happy my schedule is constructed perfectly. My first class is a 1:15. I get out of class on MWF at 4 pm. I have Intro to Doc Film TR at 12:30-3:30, which might be long, but I hear it is a great class. I do want to learn how to film and direct. Another piece of great news, the Student Commission and Kate Leishman has decided to pass my Chivalry Club, WITHOUT AN ADVISOR. This week just has been the best week of my summer.

Also, I have realized that I want to drop Economics as a minor. It was only there for a back-up plan. I do like Economics, but I would only be minoring to try to get money. I am sticking with the Psychology department, and might be minoring in Anthropology/Sociology. Hopefully I can see if they can split the minor like they did in Economics/Business. Maybe anthropology will be good for me though. Oh well. I think I have finally found peace in my life though, nothing really bothering me. Girls are not of an issue at the moment. My cardiologist and I are just friends. It sucked at first, but I was able to move on. She is still amazing. I just went online shopping this week and ordered my clothes for next year. Oh man, "ficky ficky fresh" in the words of Alain. I can't wait to get to training though, the workload looks hard, but I think it will be good. Plus, I get to see my homies. That will be great, playing Smash again. I apologize if this isn't that entertaining this time, but hey, I am the President of the Chivalry Club baby! Oh shoot, that reminds me, I have to fill out that application. Wish me luck!

Peace, Love, Friendship
Dion Jose

Boredom is the Leading Killer of Nights in the Teenage Community, Slightly Above Overprotective Parents

Me: Whats up?
Them: Nothing much. You?
Me: Nothing just listening to some music and watching television
Me: I feel like I was born to multitask
Them: Oh ok.
Me: But, yeah, how was your day?
Them: Cool
Me: Did you do anything fun today
Them: No
Me: Oh.. Alright

Ever had a conversation like this? It's the worst. I manage to have one of these a night. I wanted to make sure I touched on this topic at least once, as it seems to keep coming up. One of the biggest turn offs in most people's mind is the inability to hold conversation. I don't want to know your whole life story and I won't tell you mine. There is a thing called detail though. One thing I miss is having good conversations. I know my life is pretty boring nowadays, but still. I can hold a conversation. So if you are reading this, and our conversations look pretty similar, understand how frustrating it is.

But besides that, I am just bored for now. I finally received the Wii and have been playing recently. I just need a gamecube controller. Ordered it yesterday, so I hope I can get it soon. I need to start owning again.

Listening to music nowadays though, I feel like I need to write songs. It makes me want to do it, but my attention span will not allow me to. I start things and never finish them, it seems to be a problem with a lot of things that I have started. Including this blog.

I am going to leave it there. "I found like and lost the hate, while I sit back and follow my fate"

Peace,
Dion Jose